Perhaps I’m a curmudgeon — okay I definitely am — on the subject of technological social etiquette, but honestly, the nagging iPad questions have to stop. The thing has been out for three months now, and there are Apple Stores aplenty to go and diddle with the thing for the overly curious. Still, I get odd looks and uncomfortable questions from strangers all the time. In week one, it was cool; now, not so much.
Let’s be clear here: I’m not talking about a mutual friend, a coworker, a family member or a member of your social graph coming over to stroke your aluminum and glass baby. Those folks can play all they like. I’m talking about complete strangers who want you to sell them on the iPad just because they noticed you had one. On the subway, in a cafe, standing on the street; strangers have shown no mercy in their quest to learn more about this “magical” non-computer computer.
Enough. I’ve had it. Here is a guide to avoid making iPad users uncomfortable, surly and want to go home and write a blog post about how much you suck.
1. Don’t Ask if I Love My iPad
I do love my iPad, for a number of reasons, but they are probably different from yours. I don’t love your wife, but I’m sure you think she’s the tops.
2. Don’t Ask Me What I Use it For
That’s none of your beeswax.
3. Don’t Mention “I’ll Get the Next One”
If you’re jazzed about the iPad 2, which doesn’t exist, then don’t ask me about my iPad. You’re making two social blunders when you bring this up: 1) You’re wasting my time because you don’t actually give a crap about the iPad and 2) you’re passing a judgement on my early adoption.
4. Don’t Tell Me About Your Kindle
I had a Kindle and I returned it, but that’s not the point. I don’t care about your Kindle, and you don’t care about my iPad. Haven’t we covered this?
5. Don’t Say “Sorry to Interrupt You”
Just don’t interrupt me.
So some joker created a hashtag today that jumped to the top of twitter trends and caught my attention: #filmfoodeating. The game seems to just be to incorporate food into movie titles. Well, of course I latched on and haven’t let go. Here is a compendium of my contributions. And please, do a search over at twitter to get in on the fun.
- @repressd Whoops! Good job! Too many to read, great minds think alike.. Chew on this: Bedtime for Garbonzo #filmfoodeating NOW I’M DONE!
- My final #filmfoodeating Spider-Flan, Grouperman, Cat on a Pot Pie Roof, Beauty and the Feast, Cracker, Gumbo, Free Chili, Meat Streets
- Oklahomefries! #filmfoodeating that one’s for you @deadcenter
- Canard Boiled #filmfoodeating addendum to John Woo Edition
- Lard Target, A Feta Tomorrow, Face Froth #filmfoodeating John Woo Edition
- Purple Chrain #filmfoodeating @kashrutnews @Jewishtweets I know you’ll get this.
- Spinal Frappe, Henry Portrait of a Cereal Killer, Boureka (baraka), Black Nar-tzimis, Gentlemen’s A-quiche-ment #filmfoodeating
- Passion of the Slice, Greatest Story Jello Mold #filmfoodeating Jesus Edition
- Fiddler on the Stew, The Cholent (the chosen), Lentil #filmfoodeating Jewish Edition
- Husbands and Chives, Shadows and Nog, Brine and Misdemeanors, Bananas #filmfoodeating Woody Allen Edition
- Wages of Pear, Á Bout de Soufflé, Elevator to the Shallots, The Seventh Veal #filmfoodeating @CRITERION Edition
- Last Bite at McCool’s, Lawrence of Arrabiata, Cakes on a Plane, The Graviator, Meringues of New York, I Am Ham #filmfoodeating
- While You Were Eating, Juarassic Tarte #filmfoodeating contributed by my twitterless girlfriend
- Leaving Lox Vegas #filmfoodeating this one is sort of a repeat, but I couldn’t resist.
- Guacstoppers, Blue Chips :), Leaving Manchego, Vicky Tortilla Barcelona #filmfoodeating
- You’ve Got Kale #filmfoodeating
- Detroit Guac City #filmfoodeating that ones for you @NachosNY
- Bakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo #filmfoodeating
- Gourd of the Rings #filmfoodeating
- I don’t know why this is trending, but I love it #filmfoodeating Schindler’s Grits
This is only a test. Do not adjust your, uhhh, computer monitor. If you are reading this, it means that I can now blog from my iPhone. While no great feat for master blogheads, it took a little work for me to figure this out. It’s great. I love to blog and I love my iPhone. Now nothing can stop me from telling you cool stuff. Read on…
Back in 2005 when Jim Jannard took off his brightly colored and presumably shiny Oakley CEO hat and set out to start a revolution in digital cinema, most of us scoffed, writing off his intentions of building a 4K tapeless camera at an “affordable” price point as the ludicrous ravings of a millionaire seeking his extra 15 minutes. We ate our words a year ago, at NAB 2007, as the first Red Camera footage was put on display in a short film by mega-director Peter Jackson. As the year went by, and the fledgling company started to ship the camera in small doses, again, we started to feel the rumblings of a revolution as Stephen Soderbergh proclaimed his love for the new format.
But now it’s NAB 2008. So you’d think maybe this Red thing would pick up and start getting adopted.
Nah. Read on…
Outside, the writers’ strike rages on. Going into its second day, it has now become clear that the battle between the WGA and the AMPTP is unquestionably an uphill one. And I cannot write about film without mentioning it. But now that I’ve done that, let’s put our thinking caps on.
As many of you may know, Robert Zemeckis has been on a mission for most of his film career. A student of Spielberg’s (read P.T. Barnum’s) school of larger-than-life-cinema thought, Mr. Zemeckis has made a point of utilizing cutting edge technology in nearly all of his films. In this sense, among others, he has left a prolific footprint in the annals of film history.
His Back to the Future series pushed our imaginations to a new limit, while his Who Framed Roger Rabbit? changed the possibilities of live actors mixed with animated characters. (Remember that last film, it’ll be important shortly.) Toning down the kid in him, he earned an Oscar for his American opus, Forrest Gump, the first film to take advantage of the more realistic possibilities of digital technology. When you sit and think about it, the scope of his contributions is far-reaching. Read on…